thoughts and dreams

I don’t know about you, but it feels like lately fatigue is real. It’s like the past two years have drained you emotionally, and there’s not much left… and then more stuff comes along, like it always has and always will, and you’re just kind of left feeling completely exhausted. And then there’s the fact that it feels like time is passing fast, and yet, and yet… what have I done?

I always try to make my writing here super upbeat and positive, so this post will probably feel a bit different. But still… I don’t want to dwell on the ‘meh’ for too long, because ‘it is what it is’. If we don’t try at least to enjoy the small moments, and be thankful for what we have, then there’s not a lot left. So, taking inspiration from Suzi, who is almost always upbeat, other than early mornings (because really, why do mornings come so fast), let me try to put into words the GOOD, instead of the bad and sad.

Let’s start with the fact that the days are longer, there’s a lot of sunshine, it’s a dry spring, the blackbirds are singing. And I can sit in the garden for hours and enjoy all that, with Suzi. That’s something, right? And we have a big house and garden and space and miles of water and greenery all around. That’s something too, right?

And then there’s all the adventures I’ve had. When I’m missing those things, I should stop and think of them. I’ve seen a pride of lions and herds of elephants in the Tanzanian savannah, ridden a long-tail boat to a paradise Thai island, travelled in a sleeper train in India, traveled across the African hinterland, from Mozambique to Zimbabwe. I’ve surfed the waves in Portugal, discovered hidden beaches in Corfu, swam with wild dolphins through bright blue ocean in Mauritius. I’ve seen the world’s tallest building in Dubai, and one of the world’s oldest, in Rome. I’ve stumbled across the most beautiful abandoned French castles, watched the sun rise over the ocean in The Bahamas, skied in the Alps, slid down a waterfall in the Malaysian jungle, spotted puffins and seals in Scotland.

That’s quite a lot, right? And there’s so many more. And I’m lucky to have a sister to do most of these things with, and a crazy dog who is game for a hell of a lot too. And so many, many memories of another one, who I miss everyday. And on that note… no amount of time will ever be enough with them, or anyone you love. And if there’s one thing I know I’ve learned, it’s that.

The amount of time you’ve got here is limited, and you can only do what you can do. I know I’ll often feel I should have done more, and that I will often feel down when it all feels too much. When that happens, I promise I’ll come back here, and re read this. And remind myself that we all have bad days, bad months, years, decades. But in between, there’s some real good stuff, too. And a few people and a couple of sweet dogs, too. Thanks y’all xxx